This is harder than it looks!
Author Archive for Foxinni
It starts a bit lame… but it’s actually really funny, not to mention bizarre.
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying,
“All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train cause we’re going down the tracks.”
Continue reading ‘A boy and his toys…’
Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, “Where in the hell have you been?”
Larry replies, “I was out getting a tattoo.” A tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?” “I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates,” he said proudly. “What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?”
Continue reading ‘Tottoo taboo’
The start of your 3-minute management course.
Lesson 1
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you £800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?”
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Continue reading ‘Lessons in life’
Lil’ Johnny goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense.”
Continue reading ‘Family Politics’
A woman sends her clothing out to the local laundry. When it comes back there are still stains in her panties. The next week she encloses a note to the laundryman that says, “Use more soap on panties.”
This goes on for several weeks, the woman sending the same note to the laundry, “Use more soap on panties.”
Finally fed up, the laundry man responded with his own note that said, “Use more paper on ass.”
A father watched his young daughter playing in the garden.
He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and pure his little girl was.
Tears formed in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the wonders of nature through such innocent eyes.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her to see what work of God had captured her attention. He noticed she was looking at two spiders mating. “Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked.
Continue reading ‘Innocent thoughts of a young girl’
20. Could you drive any better if I shove that cell phone up your ass?
19. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
18. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.
17. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you.
16. Don’t piss me off. I’m running out of Places to hide the bodies.
15. You’re depriving some poor village of its idiot.
Continue reading ‘Top 20 Bumber Stickers 2007′
After the examination the doctor said to the elderly man “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”
In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I have sex I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty.”
Continue reading ‘A Season for Sex’
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